OPEN LETTER - FROM ADDICT TO CHILD

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My dear Child,

The hardest part is always coming to terms with the truth. In any situation & or in any circumstance.

Relationships are difficult because it takes two hearts.

God intended for a relationship to work as two think about the other over themselves.

But since we’re humans, we only lookout for ourselves & our selfish ways, then we fall short of love and respect for one another.

I am my own kind of person with a huge heart that honestly love people! 

But addiction always came 1st … and that creates a lot of chaos, hurt, anger, shame & frustration for any relationship.

I truly love you! You are my heart & soul … but addiction never allows its person to have two loves … addiction has to be #1.

I carry alot of shame & regrets .. and addiction makes it easier for me to live.

Once you get caught up in this whirlwind.. it’s not so easy to get out.

I often wonder about getting clean, but I am so deep & far into it that I can not see myself clean.

In an addicts' mind, it is easier to continue to punish yourself. That’s what I call it and it is my choice.

I could not fit in with the regular group of people who would be happy with a quiet life .. I have to be always on the move. I do not know how to be happy and I do not have peace in this life.

But I love you! And I do my very best! Being a parent isn't my perfect role, but like all addicts I try my best, realizing that I fell short.

Let my life be one that you can look back on to recognize how I fell short in this life.

Also, understand that drugs, sex, alcohol, money & being what others want us to be, will never satisfy.

Instead be honest with yourselves & desire to live a life with love for yourselves & peace in your heart.

Doing this I believe would honor my life.

I love you so much & want you to be happy with yourself & in life.

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