Under The Rug

UNDER THE RUG

Story by Job Leon on 2/13/2025

My life began to change in 1987, after being “Born Again.” The process has been a long and bountiful experience.

It did not happen all at once. As scripture states, it is line upon line, precept upon precept.

That is how it was for me. I learned to see that I needed to change my ways of thinking, believing, and behaving.  

It was all the beautiful work of God’s Holy Spirit within me that made and continues to make the necessary changes in my life.

It has been about 38 years now and I can share with you the positive things that took place in my life, once I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ. The truth about what is good and what is bad, I will share with you.

•     I learned to “love” others. I did not know about love because in my childhood there was not much hugging or “I love” you said out loud. I learned to love others and now have a heart of compassion to mentor other women.

•     I saw the look of “finality” in the eyes and speech of my husband and sister, just before they passed. That look and peace in their words will never be forgotten in my heart. They both knew that they were going to die. I believe that God will give us time to make amends and make things right before He decides to take our last breath.

•     Growing up, it felt as if I was an orphan. There was no stability, no family ties to share birthdays, dinners, or visits with grandma. My family came from New York when I was 4 years old. I did not have cousins or aunts that lived in California.

•     I remember not having much “outside” interaction with people and simple things like dental flossing was something I did not learn of until I was an adult. So, there were a lot of simplicities that I never knew about, and the cultural change was always an obstacle for me.

•     I physically changed and began to work out after I had braces at the age of 30 years old. This began an outward physical transformation, and the spiritual was soon to come.

•     For 35 years I was lost in the wilderness of life. I came into my own after wearing braces and working out. My low self-esteem and not able to socialize with people, (because of my silly thoughts of having an ugly appearance and no personality) made it difficult to overcome socializing with others. I did not have many friends and of course, no boyfriends.

•     I lived my life in the same manner as I had seen growing up. This was a big part of the change that began to take place within my heart. I was following my parents’ immoral behavior. Doing the same things and mistakes as they did was heartbreaking. Many lives were shattered because of my mistakes, my greed, and my behavior. This is hard to write out loud, but it is needful for me, so that I may be able to forgive myself.

•     This spiritual journey has helped me to see the wrong choices I have made, and has given me “hope” to change, so that I can begin to do what is morally right according to God.

There has been so much junk that has been swept “under the rug” over the years. At some point in our lives, we need to look back, to make amends with others as well as yourself. It is exceedingly difficult to convince yourself to do this, but if you could understand the power of forgiveness, you would take this step. It frees up that small child within you. It eliminates confusion and it begins to restore your faith.

Funny how I always said to others, “that I would not grow up to live like my parents did, and that my life would be different.” 

Guess what, even if you do not believe that you would behave in the same manner as your parents did, there is a good chance that you will. 

Remember, it is a learned behavior, belief, and attitude that needs to be undone. And it is the power of God that brings us to a place of “change.”

If you are struggling with nightmares, shame, guilt, or dreams from the past, it is time to be rid of that chain that hangs around your neck. It is a heavy burden that we were never intended to have to carry.

How can I convince you to stop for a moment and think about how much you have swept “under the rug”?

Listen to what God has to say.  

“He does not punish us for all our sins;

    He does not deal harshly with us, 

as we deserve.

For His unfailing love toward those 

who fear Him is as great as the height 

of the heavens above the earth”

“He has removed our sins as far from us

    as the east is from the west.”

“The Lord is like a father to His children,

    tender and compassionate 

to those who fear Him.

 For He knows how weak we are;

    He remembers we are only dust”   

                       Psalm 103:10-14